How CF Steered Me Toward a Career in Music

Although cystic fibrosis sidelined my pursuit of sports, it created space to develop other interests and laid the groundwork for a career in music.

| 4 min read
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Sean Squires
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I was in elementary school when I found out that I had 30 more years to live. As a child, I couldn't really begin to grasp what that actually meant. My abbreviated life expectancy was never really something I thought or cared about, but it was always something that sat in the back of my mind. As I got older, simple tasks such as playing sports and climbing stairs -- things that I took for granted as a kid -- became more strenuous. It was around this time that I was hospitalized for an unknown lung infection that inevitably forced me to quit my baseball league. This was the first time that cystic fibrosis had taken something from me.

As I explored other passions to pursue, I realized that music was something that had always resonated with me. Between 2009-2010, I discovered electronic music. Inspired by artists such as Skrillex and Deadmau5's music and live shows, I decided to learn how to create electronic music as a hobby. When it came time to start applying to colleges and figuring out my future, I realized that producing music had become a dream that I wanted to materialize into a career.

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After high school, I moved to New York City to pursue this newfound dream. Once I started living independently, I faced the challenge of managing my own medicine and allocating time out of my day to do my treatments. This -- in conjunction with the struggle of being a new rising artist -- made me realize the limits of my time. As I continued to work on my career, the threat of my life expectancy that I did not think much about as a child, began to creep up into my thoughts. Anxiety and doubt clouded my mind going into 2019, as my consistent coughing and vomiting made my life unbearable. If I couldn't get out of bed because I felt so terrible, how could I possibly ever go on tour, let alone perform at all?

I always want my music to reflect a part of me -- my experiences or my emotions. Looking back at eight years of pursuing my dream, I've come to realize that my music has been somewhat influenced by the highs and lows of my experience with cystic fibrosis.

Although sometimes when I'm writing, CF isn't at the forefront of my mind, it is always subconsciously there, affecting the music I create whether I fully intend it or not.

Sometimes, though, when I feel like I can't necessarily express in words how I feel, writing music is a therapeutic process for me. In general, I'd say most of my music is more melancholy -- rather than upbeat and happy -- and that doesn't mean I'm always sad, but I just feel -- regardless of my mood at the time of creating a song -- I always create music in that tone.

Today, I have a lot to look forward to, including potential tours and traveling for my music, which have always been things I've dreamed of doing. Thanks to the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation and the introduction of Trikafta®, I have felt better than I ever have. The struggles and anxieties that I had faced in the past have now been alleviated. In the two months that I've been on Trikafta, I've gained over 15 pounds and had a dramatic increase in lung function.

I'm very grateful to the Foundation for the work they've done for me and what they will continue to do. Even though I've had it rough dealing with many hospital stays and at-home IV treatments, I am luckier than most. My hope is that my experience will not be unique and that the Foundation will continue to support and encourage others -- who may not be as fortunate -- to attain their dreams.

This site contains general information about cystic fibrosis, as well as personal insight from the CF community. Opinions and experiences shared by members of our community, including but not limited to people with CF and their families, belong solely to the blog post author and do not represent those of the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, unless explicitly stated. In addition, the site is not intended as a substitute for treatment advice from a medical professional. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your treatment.

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Formerly part of the duo Opvs, Sean has emerged as a solo talent determined to push the boundaries of modern dance music. In his nascent career, Sean has already achieved multiple No. 1s on Hype Machine as well as support from some of the industry's taste-making luminaries. When Martin Garrix, DJ Snake, BENZI, and The Chainsmokers are rinsing your tracks, the future is most assuredly bright. Sean, a New Jersey native who lives in Manhattan, has ignited the stage alongside artists like Snakehips, Getter, DNMO, pluko, and Golden Features, as well as at South by Southwest's Beautiful Buzzz Showcase. You can follow him on social media at @squiredmusic.

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