I would like to bring you back to 2016. It was a HOT summer day. Air conditioning was blasting in the car and I was listening to country music. I was on my way to work and drove past the emergency medical services (EMS) building in my local town. As I drove past, I saw that their message board read, “No better way to help than volunteer! Apply today!” I thought to myself, why don’t I try it, and if it isn’t for me, I’ll depart respectfully and try something else.
A few days later, I found out that one of my best friends volunteered for that same EMS squad. Once I learned this, I decided to do it. I thought since I can’t serve my country in the military due to my cystic fibrosis, I’ll volunteer my time stateside instead!
At that time, I was 21 years old and had so much anxiety about doing something outside my comfort zone. As I filled out my application, anxiety filled my chest, running down my arms, into my hands, and reaching my fingertips. I hit the submit button. About a week or later, I met with a trustee, the captain, and the president of the first aid squad. After an amazing interview, I got an email from the captain saying I was accepted! I overcame my anxiety! WOOHOO!
After going out on MANY calls with the squad it’s now late 2017, and I finally was thinking about going back to school. To do what, you ask? Medical assisting. I wanted to further my education because I was so interested in learning more about the medical world.
As I filled out a form for school, my mind felt like it was playing a chess game. That same anxious feeling came up again and I wondered if this was really the right path for me. But I kept my head high, and a few weeks later I met with the school administration. Then FINALLY … I signed my last signature on the registration paperwork. A weight off my shoulders! YES!
Behold, I was finally going back to school to become a medical assistant. And the first week of classes was TWO-AND-A-HALF WEEKS away. During the program, it was fun to meet all the different people I was able to interact with, including administrators, instructors, and my fellow classmates.
The schooling felt like the longest 12 months of my life. While going to school full time, I was also working part time. I started school in 2018 and finished the program in 2019, but I wasn’t certified until my birthday in 2020. What I didn’t realize was that not even two months later the world would come to a HALTING STOP due to COVID-19.
But I didn't stop. I kept treading through the dark and gray world around me. I pushed through despite having cystic fibrosis. I didn’t worry about whether I was going to get COVID. I took precautions during this time by wearing personal protective equipment, which was REQUIRED for me to feel safe.
Imagine, I was wearing a yellow disposable suit, yellow booties, a P100 respirator mask, and eye protection. At this point, I probably looked like an absolute clown. Yet, I was at the forefront of the pandemic, within a foot of people with COVID. My main focus was to worry about the patient and get them to a place where they could get help. If I did that, I did my job as a first responder.
I never thought in my lifetime I would be dealing with a pandemic and wouldn’t be able to go anywhere or be with family or friends. Anxiety and depression FLOODED my thoughts. I was going down a rabbit hole of emotions. Was this a sign from God? Was he telling me it was not my time to enter the medical world? Should I stick to the course and ride the storm?
Eventually, I got through the rough times. I want to share a quote by someone I discovered while going through my mental health journey. Claire Wineland, who had CF, once said, “What happens when you have an illness where you’re never going to be healthy? Does that mean I’m never going to have a life? Am I never going to do anything or be anything other than a sick kid?” There will ALWAYS be some type of mental health struggle when living with CF. This quote can also apply to all aspects in life, no matter your illness, disease, or issues.
I have been focusing on my mental health the past few years, accepting my own personal issues. Altogether, I am learning to work, connect, and heal.
Mental heath is a VERY SERIOUS topic. Whether it’s you, me, or someone you have never met, remember: we all have something going on. Someone could have something going on that’s worse than your situation. Be mindful, be kind, be helpful. It doesn’t cost anything to be nice. You have one life to live, so you should choose to spread positivity. It reminds me of the Hawaiian saying, “Ikaika mau loa” which translates to “forever strong.”
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