When I was a young kid, I remember when two new drugs went on the market: Fen-Phen and Redux. They were weight loss medications, and they were all the rage. People would even travel to Mexico to get them cheaper and bring back bottles to resell to friends. It was a crazy fad. Then came the bad news that both drugs were linked to health risks, including serious heart issues. Both drugs were pulled from the market in the 1990s. As a young girl, this made quite an impression on me. My mom was a chemist and my grandmother worked in the hospital pharmacy, so I had a healthy appreciation for the use of prescription meds, but I ended up being very skittish of medicines and was even given the nickname “The Bullet Biter,” because I would do anything to avoid taking medicine. I still have a tendency to just gut it out.

So when my CF doctor, Dr. Lettich, recently prescribed me Pulmozyme for the first time, it was hard for me to accept. Due to my late diagnosis, this was the first time in my whole life that I needed a drug that is given via nebulizer. As a musician, I pride myself on keeping my lungs healthy through practicing my French horn. I was crushed when I had to ask for help. He said, “We have a great medicine called Pulmozyme that really helps clean the gunk out of your lungs.” What I heard was, “You are not doing a good enough job of taking care of yourself, so now you need another medicine.” I know that is not what he was saying — this is exactly why I love working with my therapist. Sometimes our minds trick us into believing we are not good enough when that is simply not true.

Regardless of how I felt about myself, I believe my CF clinic is amazing. I left my appointment with a brand-new nebulizer, a bag of snacks from our CF dietician, and a $15,000 grant our CF social worker helped me secure for expenses insurance didn’t cover! It felt like an early birthday party.

I got home and sat the nebulizer on the floor … where it stayed for six weeks.

Week 1-4: I convinced myself that I needed my husband, James, to set it up. After tripping over the box for four weeks, James said, “Christina, you HAVE to get this going.” I replied, “But honey, I don’t know how to set it up!” Fifteen minutes later it was set up on my desk and ready to go. Why can’t he be that fast when I ask him to fold laundry?

Weeks 5-6: Then I convinced myself that I couldn’t start the medicine because it may have side effects, and I didn’t want it interfering with my French horn practice. I didn’t want to be flaky and have to cancel a gig!

Week 7: Fate caught up with me. I caught a horrible case of the flu. I could not breathe for anything. Inhalers were not working. I was in trouble. So I did it. I sat down at my desk and wearily eyed this new machine. It was pretty. I read all of the directions, and it seemed to be easy to use. I got the medicine out of the refrigerator and read the accompanying literature for the hundredth time. It looked like things would be OK, but I was still very hesitant. Did I really need ANOTHER med?

But I did it. I nebulized Pulmozyme for the first time. It was wonderful! I fell in love. First, the nebulized medicine was so relaxing. The machine was quiet, and the vaporized medicine felt cold and pleasant. Secondly, I could immediately tell it made a difference. Wow! I could finally breathe again. (Sure, I coughed up some gunk, but that was OK.) 

Finally, I was able to start a new medication after weeks of anxiety, and I had zero side effects! All of those weeks of worry for NO reason. I felt so silly.

As a teacher, I have seen students shy away from treatments that could have really helped their conditions — most notably my students with Type 1 diabetes. As I look back on this experience, I now realize how scary starting a new medication can be and how important it is to just try. I learned I need to just trust my doctors and give it a go. Things may need an adjustment, but as new medications and treatments come out to treat our cystic fibrosis, it is important to keep an open mind and just go for it.

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