Since the loss of my sister to cystic fibrosis, grief has hit me in waves. Sometimes it feels as though I can't breathe. Despite this, I have been able to function and keep going. That is what Claire would have wanted me to do.
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Having experienced loss before, I thought I knew how to process grief. But, when I lost my cousin to suicide and my grandmother to the pandemic this past year, I reacted in unexpected ways and learned new lessons about coping with grief.
As the mother of a toddler with cystic fibrosis, I found it hard to deal with the daily grind of treatments, appointments, and insurance claims on top of all other daily responsibilities. After months of suicidal thoughts, I finally reached out for help.
Despite letting negative thoughts get to me when I was younger, I learned to make the most of any situation. This positive mindset has helped me succeed in college, and I want to help pass along what I have learned.
When I feel anxious, I go for a run or do a crafting activity to relieve the stress. I used to think I didn't have time for this, but now I know that I need to make time to take care of my mental health.
My emotions are constantly evolving through this journey with cystic fibrosis. And while I might feel like I am filled with sadness at times, my life is still very full.
Annoying though it may have been for me, my mom was determined to raise a daughter who was healthy despite CF. However, we would both soon realize that not every symptom is visible.
The hope that came with the authorization of two COVID-19 vaccines has been coupled with anxiety and frustration as I wait.
The physical symptoms of cystic fibrosis can be debilitating. But the emotional trauma brought on by hurtful comments, financial burdens, and anguish my loved ones have faced because of my disease has been just as painful.
After years of being in a deep depression, one little revelation from my therapist made all the difference in how I faced the traumas in my life.